Weekend Update

Almost done playing for the night a cool online rpg type game called kingdom of loathing www.kingdomofloathing.com. I've been playing since mid October 2004.

I don't feel in the mood per se to update but I have to. I have reached a critical mass of information to share.

First a professor who will remain nameless hasn't graded my last IF so I don't officially graduate. Once he does get around to grading it whenever it's convenient for him, I'll have to reapply for graduation. The thing that pisses me off the most is that he won't reply to my email inquiries. So that's new. My hands are tied at the moment.

I got screwed out of a temp job this week. I was "hired" and went to the temp agency the morning of the job and filled out paperwork and they conveniently recieved a call that said they didn't need me. Bastards. They didn't say why and all they gave me was a lousy tshirt.

I finally heard back from the USPTO today. They said I wasn't qualified for the job. They said I didn't meet the educational background. This is BS and I will be calling them on Tuesday.

I'm still unemployed but will soon have a job in a couple of weeks. We're still negotiating the salary stuff.

Oh my car is paid off this month!

Now that I'm done ranting you get to hear some good stuff and wisdom I've accumulated recently.

First I was able to write on my "novel" for around 4 hours this week and finished 10 pages. I have to type up the last 5 as I wrote them today. I also haven't edited anything that I've written on it since I resurrected it. But a couple of weeks ago I fleshed out at least the general direction with some pretty good details of the rest of it. I also fleshed out the next short story but Paatentim keeps coming back to mind. I may have left too big a mess and I might want to clean it up as it ends very sadly and something is left unresolved (at least in my mind).
Now I don't write descriptive stuff very much and I am trying to do better. I'm am learning my trade still and I need to work on beats too so you'll be seeing more of that in my writing.

I decided I can't wait around for feedback on my writing before starting the next thing. It's a waste of time. You give stuff to people and they don't read it in a timely manner and it's frustrating. So I'll keep sharing stuff but won't wait or be disappointed when they don't read it quickly. I guess that was a bit of a rant.

I'm also forming my own rules for writing. What makes my standard my standard. One rule so far is "Is it clever?" if it isn't then rewrite or toss it out. I've also been able to notice hiccups in my writing where there's like a skip or a jolt and something doesn't transition smoothly in a scene. I'll be working on that too.

I already had a testimony of the power of words. It has increased though. Take a look at the word addiction. If you have a serious problem and you use that word it gives power to the word. Yes it's good to acknowledge the word but saying it gives some mystical power to it that may defeat you in your attempt to defeat it. This is similar to why you don't say the devil's name aloud as it gives him power. I've taken to saying serious problem over a word like addiction.

I'm also beginning to believe that I have the tools and the talent and I don't need any more education. At least education that you have to pay for at a university. I'm tired of them and don't want to spend any more money there unless someone else is fitting the bill and I *never* have to pay it back. I can do anything I want. I just need to be calm and logical.

I'm learning Macromedia Flash and have a few projects in mind. I've also been hanging out with the CU Game Development Club. I have a friend (she's president) and I've given a tutorial on Fuzzy Logic and will do one on Basic Probabililty this week. I am still interested in AI and will try to do stuff to keep that interest alive.

As I have become more serious about writing it has made me become more serious about life. I am trying to learn my trade better and in doing so I am paying more attention to conversations especially body language and gestures. This will help me with beats in my dialogue. It has helped elsewhere too but I don't care to elaborate right now.

Lastly, I realize that I have more insight than wisdom. I have the knowledge but I don't apply it so I am lacking in wisdom. I'm lousy at applying my insight.

A few weeks back I bought a couple of books to help me with my writing (I already bought Strunk and White's Elements of Style a couple of months back). I got one on self editing, called Self-Editing for Fiction Writers and the other is Robert's rules of writing. I have finished reading them and I have learned and hope to continue to learn from them.

I guess I was in the mood to write tonight.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

P

Today

Yesterday (Friday) two chapters of my life ended.

First I graduated with a Masters Degree in Computer Science. I didn't advertise this and hardly anyone knows. This doesn't bother me as I don't really wish to pursue actually using this degree anyway. For those who think I'm insane I'll explain. There's only one part of comp sci that I ever liked, loved, Artificial intelligence. AI. That's the only part I ever was passionate about and I took a lot of classes in it as a grad student but I wasn't very good, which is something I could do something about, but worse I never had good guidance or direction in it. I didn't know what parts I would like to have studied further. I still don't. I just like AI in general, but I have found a potential project that I'm toying with that would put me back in as a PhD student. I won't share my plan as it is secret and I don't have to share all my secrets. But I could get in as a Masters student in the creative writing program (possibly) if I took 6 more hours of English. Maybe this fall when I'm in a better financial position.
I never heard back from the patent office and my app expired on the 4th. I've lost interest in the work involved to be a patent agent and the prospects for software patents. There's not a high demand apparently. I would have to study for 3-4 months to take a test which I have to pay $400 for and the 2 books you need cost $120 for hard copies. I had an interview the week before last but hadn't heard back. I have one on Tuesday to replace the irreplaceable Kent and somebody else called me late Thursday about another one.
Now back to the rest of the story.
Two, I ended my career at Norlin Library Systems dept. I worked for 3 hours today. The library was quiet as it was graduation and all (I skipped my ceremony Thursday night to play laser tag--I brought a cool friend so it was ok). It was quiet and serene. My last day didn't involve any rigorous annoying jobs except one. My very last act on the job was to image a laptop. That was something I came to loathe on the job (that and deploying them). I worked there for 3.5 years and I am getting laid off exactly 3.5 years after I was hired. I was hired on 11/7/2001 and I will be laid off 5/7/2005. 3.5 years. I almost cried and my voice got like you do when you're about to cry when I was saying my last goodbyes. Tyler Schoenke was my only immedate boss there so I have to come back and say goodbye to Justin my other boss (and the rest of the systems gang). I also said goodbye to the Admin Services secretaries, Dylan and Rhonda, that's when I almost lost it. I walked slow to the elevator rode it down to the first floor and slowly walked to the front entrance. When I got outside I was feeling sentimental so I took a walk around the library. Slowly I walked around it with memories flashing about my time there. When I finished I walked over to the stadium to turn in my keys. I had a little trouble finding the place as Access Services moved when they added onto Folsom field. I found them and gave them the keys and the little cards that came with them. Apparently 3.5 yrs ago when I got them, Access Services were supposed to get the top copies (white ones). They figured this out when they couldn't find me in the computer system. I found it somewhat amusing. A fun twist to end a chapter. When I left I walked slowly back to the Institute where my car was savoring the campus as my time here is finished. It's the end of an era and the start of the rest of my life.
What will I do now? Work and write. I can't seem to pick one thing and stick with it. I need to be doing 2 things. As they say Jack of all trades master of none. That's me. I don't like anyone thing enough to master it. I have breadth of knowledge, but not necessarily depth. Now if I can only find someone who wants to be with me (and marry me).
I finished the first draft of a short story of mine this week but I'm letting it sit a few more days before I revise it. I went to the CU game development club meeting tonight and it was fun.
I'm unemployed now so I look forward to getting a job that has decent hours and allows me to write. Next week I will work on the novel and the next short story. I will also be submitting a short story to a writing contest. I won't find out how I did until October.
I don't want to be very social. I never have. It seems I may have to change that as I am getting on with my life. I've never enjoyed small talk as I am uncomfortable with 99% of people anyway when it comes to that. I only want to talk to the ones that I feel comfortable around. Otherwise it's insincere chatter and a waste of time.
We'll I've written a mouthful so I'm going to stop.
Goodnight and God bless.

P