Growing Pains

Last weekend was a whirlwind. I had an intimate conversation with a female friend. We both revealed things we had never shared with anyone else. I went first and she replied back, but I didn't handle it well and was mean and very judgemental. I knew I was being rejected, but I handled things poorly becuase I was being selfish. I wasn't clear about that until friend, much older and wiser than me helped me sort through things and see that. I'm trying to work on that.

What I said in the conversation made me feel extremely vulnerable. After my mishandled reply to her own confession, I didn't want to deal with any of it and didn't check my email for more than 12 hours.

I feel ok about the rejection, but talking with her is an irritant to me still. That's why on my suggestion we are having a time out. Two weeks hopefully should do it.

I have more to say (hopefully not judgemental knee-jerk reactions) and I still care a lot about this person, but I need time to heal. I don't take rejection well. I never have.

It has been suggested to me that I start looking elsewhere.